


Incorrect Deckerstar Quotes #2

by EvenEth13



Series: Incorrect Quotes [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Cute, Deckerstar - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Funny, Incorrect Deckerstar Quotes, Incorrect Quotes, Pranks, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenEth13/pseuds/EvenEth13
Summary: Random conversations from random sources Or Random conversations period. It's a part #2! Hooray! As the title suggest, IT'S ANOTHER INCORRECT DECKERSTAR STORY! I really should have named this SHORT DECKERSTAR STORIES... but then again they aren't really stories... That make any sense? No? Ok haha
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Mazikeen, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Linda Martin & Mazikeen (Lucifer TV)
Series: Incorrect Quotes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017924
Comments: 59
Kudos: 141





	1. Election Day!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry-not-sorry for the election post. I thought it was hilarious. I started another round of incorrect quotes because I need to upload something. I have so much put away... keep a look out! I'll be adding more characters as I go!

**Maze:** Hey girl, what are you up to?

 **Linda:** Not much, just trying to figure out which election sight I’m going to be working at. Did they tell you yours yet?

 **Maze:** … what?

 **Linda:** I told you to work the polls to make some extra cash

 **Maze:** You said I should werk the poles to make extra ca$h… 

**Linda:** POLLS ***holds up basic poll workers manual***

 **Maze:** POLES … ***points to outfit***

 **Linda:** ***hand over mouth* *shocked*** POLLS

 **Maze:** ***thows it back*** POLES…

 **Linda:** ***sad face*** POLLS 

**Maze: *shakes ass*** POLES ***sad face***

  
  



	2. Tony Danza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you have seen Friends, there’s this scene where Phoebe gets tiny dancer and Tony Danza mixed up.... yeah I think of that till this day. It always cracks me up.

**Piano out in the middle of Lux  
**

* * *

**Chloe:** "You know... I haven't seen you play the piano in awhile."

 **Lucifer: *pulls glass away from lips*** "Is this you asking me to play you a song?"

 **Chloe: *shrugs*** "Maybe..." 😌

 **Lucifer: *walks over to piano*** "Any requests?" ***places glass down on top of piano* *takes a seat***

 **Chloe:** "Surprise me?" ***leans against piano* *hand under chin***

 **Lucifer: *tickles keys*** "Hmm..."

**Plays opening to Tiny Dancer by Elton John**

**Chloe: *smiles as she realizes what's being played***

**Lucifer: *having fun playing***

**Chloe: *muttering lyrics***

**Lucifer:** "Ooo! Someone knows the song" ***continues to play***

 **Chloe:** "HOLD ME CLOSER, TONY DANZA!"

 **Lucifer: *stops abruptly*** "What?" ***laughing***

 **Chloe:** "What?... isn’t that what he says?"

 **Lucifer:** "No!" ***cry laughing*** "It's, tiny dancer"

 **Chloe: *covers mouth*** "Oh... I always thought it was Tony Danza... that makes a lot of sense now"

 **Lucifer: *still laughing*** "Come here... Gosh, I love you"

 **Chloe: *moves over to him*** "And I love you" ***gives him a kiss***


	3. Day 4 of Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've watched so many hours of this Presidential Election ballot counting... SO MANY HOURS... I breathe CNN NEWS now haha.  
> Note: I did write this last night... I really should have uploaded this earlier ha. Oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote: "I've watched CNN for 3 days straight this man [John King] starting to look sexy asf to me" LOL
> 
> I forget Lucifer is Bisexual... I find it accurate that he'd be crushing on the CNN men while watching the NEWS with Chloe.

**Day 4 of Presidential Election Decision **

**Lucifer: *hair a mess*** “I can’t take it anymore!” 

**Chloe: *wine glass in hand*** “We got more votes in Georgia… it should be over soon” ***sips wine***

 **Lucifer: *points at TV*** “They’ve been telling us that since Tuesday night!” 

**Chloe: *sigh*** “I know… well at least one good thing came out of watching CNN.” 

**Lucifer: *lifts eyebrow*** “what’s that?” 

**Chloe: *smiles*** “Well several things ha, Chris Cuomo… John King… Phil Mattingly…” ***sips wine*** “Van Jones in the morning” 😏

 **Lucifer: *nods his head*** “Indeed Detective” 😏

 **Chloe:** “My chart throbs” 

**Lucifer:** “Map Daddies” 

**Chloe:** “Data muffins” 

**Lucifer: *cheers*** “Ooo I like that one.” 

**Chloe:** “I knew you would” 😏

**[Trixie Enters Living Room at 3 a.m]**

**Trixie:** “You two are still watching this??” 

**Both shamelessly hide under covers**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Happy! PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN ! Sounds good to finally put President in front of a leader's name again.


	4. I'm Your Problem Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where the dialogue to this chapter comes from but I just had to make it into a Deckerstar moment

**Chloe doing work on the kitchen counter.**

  
  


**Lucifer: *pops in out of nowhere*** “Hi there”

**Chloe: *looks up*** “Hey”

**Lucifer: *tucks hair behind her ear*** “Remember that time you showed me love and affection?  ***boops her nose*** “I’m here to stay now”

**Chloe: *smiles***

**Lucifer:** “I caught feelings. That’s how it works.”

**Chloe: *shakes her head***

**Lucifer:** “You showed me human kindness. Something I’m not used to, but HEY, you did it.”  ***kisses cheek***

**Chloe:** “Aw babe..”

**Lucifer: *points at her*** “You fucked up. I’m your problem now…”

**Chloe:** “Yeah… I kinda got that”  ***laughs***

**Lucifer: *hugs her tight*** “I love you”

**Chloe:** “And I love you”

  
  



	5. Vulgar Toy Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot to upload a chapter yesterday! I'm sorry. To make up for it, I'm uploading 2 today! 
> 
> My professor at college used to have a quarter machine with vulva molds... vagina molds... idk the proper name. She had tiny molds of vaginas in toy balls. When you'd get something right she'd let you go to the front and get one with a quarter. It was fun. Thought it'd be funny to write something with Lucifer getting his hands on one.

**Chloe and Lucifer arrive at a crime scene at a Sex Shop.** **Chloe goes to the back to take a look at the dead body**

**Lucifer pokes around looking at the sex object on the shelf.**

**Chloe:** “Lucifer, I need you over here.” 

**Lucifer:** “In a minute Detective…”  ***finds a quarter machine* *curious***

**Chloe: *grumbles under her breath***

**Lucifer: *pats pockets for coins*** “Daniel… you wouldn’t happen to have fifty cents on you?” 

**Dan: *trying to be inconspicuous*** “huh? Oh… uh sure”  ***hands quarters over***

**Lucifer: *puts money in machine* *watches toy roll out***

**Dan:** “What did you get?” 

**Lucifer: *opens it*** “Well aren’t you a naughty little machine” 

**Dan: *giggles* *puts money in for himself***

**Chloe:** “What are you two doing?”  ***walks over***

**Lucifer:** “Nothing!  ***hides toy in pocket***

**Dan:** “Typical…” * **upset with his toy* *shows chloe***

**Chloe:** “You're wasting money on tiny penises?” 

**Lucifer: *looks at Dan’s toy*** “You got a penis?”  ***laughs***

**Dan:** “Ha ha ha, laugh it up.” 

**Chloe:** “Let’s see it. What did you get?” 

**Lucifer: *pulls it out*** “it’s a little vagina mold ha!” 

**Chloe: “rolls her eyes***

**Lucifer:** “You wouldn’t happen to have fifty cents now would you?” 

**Chloe:** “My boyfriend ladies and gentlemen…”  ***shakes head* *walks away***

  
  



	6. YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised I uploaded a second chapter! ❤️

**Chloe:** “If I went missing for like a week… do you think you’d be alarmed or would you…”

**Maze: *tilts head to the side* *thinks*** “I think so”

**Chloe:** “Huh. That’s nice. I didn’t think you’d be alarmed. I thought…”

**Maze:** “YOU’RE MY FRIEND”

**Chloe: *taken by surprise*** “I don’t like how you said that. You said it with…”

**Maze: *raises voice*** “YOU’RE MY FRIEND”

**Chloe: *steps away*** “Why are you yelling at me, you’re my friend?”

**Maze:** “ **YOU’RE MY FRIEND!”**

**Chloe:** “Oh God!”  ***scared***


	7. You Thinking What I’m Thinking?

**At Lux. Chloe is at Lucifer’s desk working on a case**

**Lucifer:** “Detective?” 

**Chloe: *Stops what she’s doing* *looks up*** “Yes?”

**Lucifer:** “You know the thing that we did last night?”  ***twiddles thumbs***

**Chloe: *smiles*** 😏 “Yeah??” 

**Lucifer:** “Did you enjoy it?”

**Chloe: *speechless*** “Mmmhmm…”

**Lucifer:** “You want to do it again?”

**Chloe: *with confidence*** “YES”  ***closes folders***

**Lucifer:** “Like now?”

**Chloe:** “Yeah”  ***closes laptop quickly*** “Yup”

**Lucifer:** “You sure?”

**Chloe** : “Mmhmm!”  ***Stands up from chair***

**Lucifer:** “Alright, you can order it then.”

**Chloe: *stops moving*** “Order what??”  ***nervously laughs***

**Lucifer: *laughs*** “The Subway!”

**Chloe:** “Whaaat…”  ***disappointed***

**Lucifer:** “Oh I’m sorry… were you talking about?” ***bits his lip***

**Chloe: *hits his chest*** “Don’t give me that. I know you weren’t talking about food”

**Lucifer: *laughing*** “No I wasn’t. I just like riling you up” ***wraps his arms around her***


	8. Prank Backfired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer drives Chloe home from the precinct. Chloe decides to play a prank on Lucifer. It’s all fun until it backfires on her. 

**They are at a stop sign. Chloe sees a man run passed them.**

**Chloe:** “Oh… my… word. That man is fine. Do you see that? Now that’s a freakin man.”

 **Lucifer: *not fazed*** “Stop talking about me.”

**Chloe: *laughs* *confused***

**Lucifer:** “Stop it. I told you to stop. You’re obsessed. It’s insane” ***smiles at her***

 **Chloe: *realizes the prank backfired* *laughs harder***

**Lucifer:** “We have to go back to counseling, this is getting bad. Here, call Linda now.” ***hands her his phone***

 **Chloe:** “WhAt??” 😂

 **Lucifer:** “Like I can’t even drive without you just like… trying to jump my bones, right now.”

 **Chloe:** “I wasn’t talking about you! I was talking about the guy who was running.” 😂

 **Lucifer: *mocking her*** “The guy on the run? I saw him, he didn’t look good. He was like… he was just a man. I’m a bloody superhero. Are you kidding me?”

**Chloe: *can’t contain her laughter***

**Lucifer:** “You ever seen Clark Kent and me in the same room?

 **Chloe:** “Shut up”

 **Lucifer:** “Take it back. Take it back” 

**Chloe:** “What no!” 

**Lucifer** : “Take it back, say you were wrong about what you said back there.”

 **Chloe:** 😂 “I’m sorry babe. I shouldn’t have said what I said back there.” 

**Lucifer:** “Thank you. He looked like… He looked like a clown.”

 **Chloe:** “Did he? I wasn’t really observing him.”

 **Lucifer:** “Oh really now? You didn’t see his shoes?”

 **Chloe: *laughing*** “What was up with his shoes?”

 **Lucifer:** “They didn’t fit right! Gosh!” 😂

 **Chloe:** “I was playing with you! Why can’t you let me play a prank out!”

 **Lucifer:** “Because I love you too much to see you fail!”

 **Chloe:** 😂 “I love you too”


	9. Relationship Building Exercise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Lucifer is the Mom of the duo, at least when it comes to cooking and cleaning. We know the Devil loves to cook. I imagine Chloe letting these day to day activities go because she has Lucifer to do it for her. Lucifer out of love tries to get Chloe back into helping. This is how I imagine it’d go down.

**Lucifer:** “Detective???”

**Chloe: *at the table working on a case*** “What?”

**Lucifer:** “Would you mind joining me in a relationship building exercise? Linda said it would help me with my communication”

**Chloe:** “Uh… babe not right now.”

**Lucifer: *scoffs*** “Not right now!?”

**Chloe:** “I’m working on our case right now”

**Lucifer:** “I think this would benefit us both… deeply.”

**Chloe: *sighs*** “Are you going to point out something I’m not doing correctly?”

**Lucifer:** “No no no! Come with me, please!? Please, I swear it will be lovely.”

**Chloe: *sighs*** “Alright… let me finish this.”

**Lucifer: *heads up stairs*** “Come along, chop chop.”

**Chloe: *puts work down* *follows Lucifer***

**Lucifer: *smiling*** “I’m excited. This is gonna be fun…”

**Chloe:** “What exercise involves us going upstairs?”  ***confused***

**Lucifer: *opens bedroom door*** “It’s called… LAUNDRY!”

**Chloe: *sees it* *turns away***

**Lucifer:** “We can do it together! And find bliss. And we can…”  ***sees she’s gone*** “what, wait! It wouldn’t take longer than 25 minutes… DETECTIVE! Honey... Babe?” 


	10. Pick-Up Jokes

**Lucifer:** “Honey??”

**Chloe:** “Yes??”

**Lucifer:** “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple” **😏**

**Chloe:** “Cute… I’ll take it.”

**Lucifer:** “Glad you liked that”  **😊**

**Chloe:** “But what if I was a vegetable?”

**Lucifer: *not missing a beat*** “Then I’d simply pull the plug…”

**Chloe: *Shock yet amused***

**Lucifer:** “You know since…”

**Chloe:** “No I understand the joke… it’s just so morbid”

**Lucifer:** “Just trying to be realistic, darling” **😘**

**Chloe:** “Mhmm… you can sleep on the couch tonight.”  ***gets up and leaves***

**Lucifer:** “Bugga…”


	11. Tik-Tok Trend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe once again tries to mess with Lucifer. This time she jumps on board with a famous tik-tok trend.

_"I ain’t never seen two pretty bestfriends… it’s always one of them that’s got to be ugly”_

**Chloe: *fluffing up her hair* *winks at Lucifer***

**Lucifer:** “Umm child…” ***looks her up and down*** “anyways so…” ***goes back to being sexy***

 **Chloe:** 😂 “Are you kidding me?”

 **Lucifer:** “Well I’m obviously not the ugly one!” 

**Chloe:** “So you’re calling me the ugly one??”

 **Lucifer:** “Dad no! You’re beautiful Honey” 

**Chloe:** “Mhmm… I see this backfired on me” 

**Lucifer:** “It only backfired if you let it, Dear.” **😘**


	12. A Calculated No

**Lucifer: *on his phone*** “Detective??”

**Chloe:** “Yes, Lucifer?”

**Lucifer:** “I’ve been thinking…”

**Chloe: *looks over*** “This should be good. What’s up?”

**Lucifer:** “I was thinking of starting an OnlyFans… where do you stand on this?”

**Chloe:** “What’s an OnlyFans??” 

**Lucifer: *hands phone over*** “That my dear is OnlyFans”

**Chloe: *looks*** “Oh My God!” ***applaud but interested*** ***pulls it closer for a better look***

**Lucifer:** “I was thinking…”

**Chloe:** “No”

**Lucifer: *shocked*** “No?”

**Chloe:** “No”  ***hands phone back***

**Lucifer:** “But you didn’t even let me get to deliver my case…”

**Chloe:** “I don’t have to. The answer is no.”

**Lucifer:** “... oh okay...” * **looks at phone* *looks at Chloe*** “Can _**we**_ make an OnlyFans?”

**Chloe:** “Noooooo”

**Lucifer:** “I’ll take that as a soft no and bring it up when we’re not on a stakeout.” 

***criminal starts running***

**Chloe: *runs out of car*** “The answer is still no!”

**Lucifer:** “Soft no”  ***gets out of car***


	13. What Is It You Truly Desire?

**After realizing Lucifer’s mojo went to her, Chloe decides to give his gift a try.**

**Chloe: *stares into Lucifer’s eyes*** “Tell me what is it you truly desire?”

**Lucifer: *in a trance*** “I… I…”

**Chloe:** “Yes?”

**Lucifer:** “I could really go for a hotdog right now…” 

**Chloe: *breaks eye contact*** “Haha what?”

**Lucifer: *snaps out of it*** “I… I mean you caught me at lunch time. We’re on our way to go get lunch…”  ***bends down*** “Right… okay ask me again.”

**Chloe: *Stares into Lucifer’s eyes*** “What is it you truly desire?” 

**Lucifer:** “A hotdog…”  ***shakes head*** “Dammit! I really wanted to say a kiss, but I guess the hotdog won”

**Chloe: *laughing*** “I can give you both.”

**Lucifer:** “Kiss first?” 

**Chloe:** “I guess”  ***kiss***

**Lucifer:** 😊 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read my Devil In Your Soul story, new chapter will be up on Thursday 12/10!


	14. Accident In The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe and Lucifer are asleep in bed at Chloe's apartment. Lucifer wakes up startled.

**Lucifer:** “what is that?”

**Chloe: *wakes up*** “What is what?” 

**Lucifer: *sits up*** “Something spilled” 

**Chloe:** “What?” 

**Lucifer:** “Something spilled in the bed.” 

**Chloe:** “Okay. Well clean it up”

**Lucifer:** “No, it’s wet. There’s wet in the bed” 

**Chloe:** “What?  ***sits up* *lifts the covers*** “Well, what did you spill, Lucifer?” 

**Lucifer: “** I didn’t spill anything!”  ***feels around***

**Chloe:** “Are you bleeding?” 

**Lucifer: *perplexed*** “wHaT!? nO!”  ***notices what’s wrong* *Sits up straight***

**Chloe:** “What is it?” 

**Lucifer:** “... Nothing…” 

**Chloe:** “Is it you? What happened?” 

**Lucifer:** “Nothing!” 

**Chloe: *lifts sheets* *tries not to laugh*** “Oh sweetie… did you wet the bed?” 

**Lucifer:** “No...”  **😬**

**Chloe:** “Babe…” 

**Lucifer: *gets up with blanket*** “No, I have to go.” 

**Chloe:** “You’re not going anywhere.” 

**Lucifer: *blanket wrapped around his waist*** “No I need to leave.” 

**Chloe:** “Lucifer, calm down, okay! It’s fine.” 

**Lucifer:** “No it’s not fine! Nothing about that is fine... Do we have to file for divorce if we were never married?” 

**Chloe:** “We’re not getting a divorced… yet."

**Lucifer: 😳**

**Chloe:** “I need to see if I can get the stain out of my sheets first.”

**Lucifer: *walking in circles trying to gather blanket*** “Does that window open? Because I’m about to fly out of it right now.” 

**Chloe:** “Lucifer just get into the shower and wash off. I will deal with this... But I should probably put the sheets in the washer sooner than later…” 

**Lucifer:** “Fine, I will take a shower, but we must never see each other again.”

**Chloe:** “Okay.. that sounds like a fair deal…

**Lucifer:** ***starts backing up into bathroom***

**Chloe:** “Babe… I’m going to need the bed sheet” 

**Lucifer: *hands it over with minimal exposure to himself* *closes door***

**Chloe:** * **takes blanket* “** I LOVE YOU!” 

**Lucifer:** “I’m glad one of us does!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name the show this was taken from 😂


	15. Which Is Your Favorite Of The 7 Seas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my adult humor ha

**Maze:** “Ah look! My friends and the Devil himself! Let’s ask him a question.  ***holds microphone to Lucifer’s face*** Which is your favorite of the 7 seas?” 

**Lucifer: *stuttering*** “uh… The… puss-sea.” 

**Maze: *laughing*** “You heard it here folks.”  ***walks away***

**Chloe:** “Who are you talking…  ***looks around*** “Maze… was that really appropriate?” 

**Dan: *trying to name the seas with his finger***

**Lucifer: *nudges Chloe with elbow*** “Did you get it?” 

**Chloe: *disgusted*** “Yeah.. I got it.”  ***walks away***

**Dan:** “Pacifics, Atlantics, Indian…”

**Lucifer:** “Give it a rest Daniel”  ***walks away***

**Dan: *realizes the joke*** “Oh! Ha funny.. Puss-sea” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... If you're a Devil in your soul reader, I dropped the ball on writing the 33rd chapter. But! I did work on fixing my Michaella story. I've also busted out 2 chapter for a Lilith/Ibriel love story leading to Brian's existence. Either both will be dropped Wednesday or some time this week. 😊


	16. Grocery Store Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Lucifer decide to have some friendly step-father/step-daughter bonding at the grocery store. YES THE GROCERY STORE

**Lucifer:** “I can’t believe your mother has us going out during a global pandemic grabbing groceries. We could have just had it delivered.”

**Trixie: *scuffs*** “This was your idea! You kept insisting you needed more interaction with people.”

**Lucifer:** “Alright… no need to call me out on it.”

**Trixie:** “Can we just grab the groceries and go?”

**Lucifer:** “You got the list?”

**Trixie:** “Yup”  ***shows it***

**Lucifer:** “I’ll take one half, you take the other. Yeah?”

**Trixie:** “Sure”  ***takes off without cart***

**Random Lady: *sees Trixie alone walking around*** “Oh sweetheart are you okay?”

**Trixie: *confused***

**Random Lady:** “Are you here with a parent? Do you need me to call anyone for you?”

**Lucifer:** ***in the distance***

**Trixie: *plays around*** “Wait… you can see me?”

**Random Lady:** “.... what?”

**Trixie:** “You’re not supposed to be able to see me” * **Lucifer makes the lights flicker***

**Random Lady: *slowly backs away***

**Trixie: *stares intensely***

**Lucifer: *laughing***

**Random Lady: *walks away***

**Lucifer: *walks over*** “You need to stop watching scary movies with Mazikeen, you’re too evil for humanity.”

**Trixie: *scuffs*** “And I think people don’t watch nearly enough scary movies. Who walks up to a random child like that?”

**Lucifer:** “True… good job back there.”

**Trixie: *smiles*** “Thank you”

**Lucifer:** “I got the food”  ***shakes cart*** “Sweets included”

**Trixie:** “Awesome! I won’t tell mom”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have other projects if anyone wants to show them some love. I’ve been writing so much, I haven’t had the time to Christmas shop or upload... so slow on posting for the meantime. When I get the chance, there will be art and story updates. If this is the last post of the year, MERRY CHRISTMAS and a late HANUKKAH! Have a very life changing NEW YEAR! Stay safe!


	17. You Ask About A Pickle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't explain this... I'm so sorry.

**Chloe:** “Babe!”

**Lucifer: *stops what he’s doing*** “I didn’t do anything!” 

**Chloe:** “What?? You know what nevermind. Listen to me.”

**Lucifer:** “Oh… k.”

**Chloe:** “Can I do something?”

**Lucifer:** “What’s that?”

**Chloe:** “Can I suck the life out of your pickle?”

**Lucifer:** “I’m sorry… I didn’t quite hear that. What did you say?”

**Chloe:** “Can I Suck The Life From Your Pickle?”

**Lucifer: *giggles*** “My pickle?”

Chloe: “Yeah the juice and everything.”

**Lucifer: *giggles***

**Chloe:** “Yeah like...” ***makes slurping noise***

**Lucifer:** “Oooo! Do that again”

**Chloe: *slurps***

**Lucifer: *giggles*** “Yes! Do it! I’ll help” ***starts unbuckling pants***

**Chloe:** “My mouth is already watering.”

**Lucifer: *extremely happy***

**Chloe:** “Cause you left it out on the counter and I wanted to know if I could have it”  ***pulls out an actual pickle***

**Lucifer: *stops*** “I…”

**Chloe: *bites it***

**Lucifer:** “Actually do that one more time”

**Chloe: *bites it*** “All that juice just came out”

**Lucifer: *turned on*** “I’ve never been more attracted to you”

**Chloe:** “Shut up!”  ***walks away***

**Lucifer** : “No!! Come back!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sick so my posts are slow. If your a Michaella reader, I posted a chapter. If you're a Devil In Your Soul reader.... I'm getting to it., I promise.


	18. Bachelor Alert!

**Lucifer:** “Bachelor Alert! My friend here has just lost his lover. So…”

**Dan:** “Loved one, Lucifer. It was my grandma…”

**Lucifer:** “Isn’t that insects??”

**Dan: *annoyed*** “Incest, you idiot.”

**Lucifer: *gasp*** “You said it, not me!” 

**Dan:** “What? No! No!

**Lucifer:** “RING! RING! Someone call the cops!” 

**Dan:** “Oh My God…”

**Lucifer:** ***making siren noises*** “Pervert Alert!”

**Dan:** “I hate you so much…”


	19. Are You Decent?

**Chloe:** “Are you decent?”

**Lucifer:** “Morally?... No.”

**Chloe:** “wHaT??”

**Lucifer:** “In bed?? Well Above Average, Detective”  ***wink***

**Chloe:** “I… I meant are you wearing pants?!” 

**Lucifer:** “Oh!...  ***looks down*** “Than no ha.” 😏


	20. Dutiful Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer doing chores around the apartment for Chloe.

**Chloe:** “Hey babe have you seen… whaat are you doing?”

**Lucifer:** “Oh hey! I’m just finishing up the dishes.”

**Chloe:** “Who… who told you to do that?”

**Lucifer:** “No one. There was just dirty dishes and these hands like to clean” 

**Chloe:** “Oh really?” ***not convinced* *glares at Lucifer***

**Lucifer:** “Yes really. You know what else these hands like to do?” 😏

**Chloe:** “What’s that?”

**Lucifer:** “Massage your body” 😏

**Chloe:** “I… I…” ***flustered***

**Lucifer:** “Is coconut oil okay?” 

**Chloe: *stuttering***

**Lucifer:** “Full body massage… Head to toe, back to front… in and out” 😉

**Chloe:** ***excited*** “.... yeah! Why… Why are you doing all this? It’s not like it’s my birthday...”

**Lucifer:** “Because you exist, my love.” 😊

**Chloe: *glares*** “And what do you want in return?”

**Lucifer:** “... nothing.”

**Chloe:** “Get out! You always want something.”

**Lucifer:** “Not this time… I love performing acts of service” 😏 “it’s my love language.”

**Chloe:** 😏 “Well then… I’ll see you upstairs. After! You do the laundry.”

**Lucifer:** “What! I mean… of course. I’ll be up shortly, my love.”

**Chloe: *walks away*** “Oh and could you prepare dinner.”

**Lucifer:** “I… of course.”

**Chloe:** “Gosh! I forgot! Can you also run down to the store and get some groceries?”

**Lucifer:** “... this backfired on me once again, didn’t it?”

**Chloe:** “Yes it did, but you did say, acts of service was your love language, so…”

**Lucifer:** “I’m turning that massage into a deep tissue then.”

**Chloe:** 😏 “Ooo. Promise?”

**Lucifer: *drops dishes*** “Come here!” 

**Chloe:** “No!” ***takes off, laughing***

**Lucifer: *takes off after her***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun. Thanks for sticking around. This is the end. Hope you all enjoyed! ❤️❤️❤️


End file.
